M\u00ebnyra se si njer\u00ebzit i trajtojn\u00eb njer\u00ebzit rreth tyre pasqyron gjith\u00e7ka q\u00eb ata kan\u00eb brenda dhe gjith\u00e7ka q\u00eb ndjejn\u00eb. Dhe kujt ia nxjerrin zakonisht t\u00eb gjitha t\u00eb mirat dhe t\u00eb k\u00ebqijat q\u00eb kemi n\u00eb to? P\u00ebr njer\u00ebzit m\u00eb t\u00eb af\u00ebrt. Nuk do t’ua tregoj atyre q\u00eb duan, sepse \u00ebsht\u00eb hipokrite t\u00eb thuash se e do dik\u00eb, por t\u00eb sulmosh sa her\u00eb q\u00eb nuk je mir\u00eb, duke e b\u00ebr\u00eb at\u00eb pis.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Megjithat\u00eb, psikolog\u00ebt thon\u00eb pik\u00ebrisht k\u00ebt\u00eb. Njer\u00ebzit ua l\u00ebm\u00eb veten vet\u00ebm atyre q\u00eb duam. P\u00ebr t\u00eb huajt jemi tip dhe n\u00ebnvizojm\u00eb. Ne nxjerrim n\u00eb pah veten ton\u00eb t\u00eb sh\u00ebmtuar, gjykues dhe t\u00eb posht\u00ebr sepse mendojm\u00eb se ata nuk do t\u00eb largohen kurr\u00eb. Sepse ne mendojm\u00eb se mund ta b\u00ebjm\u00eb pa pasoja.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Pra, nj\u00eb baba q\u00eb rreh f\u00ebmij\u00ebn e tij, si e do sakt\u00ebsisht? Zem\u00ebrimi i eg\u00ebr q\u00eb u del f\u00ebmij\u00ebve nga prind\u00ebrit nuk ka t\u00eb b\u00ebj\u00eb fare me gabimin apo sjelljen e keqe t\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebs, p\u00ebrndryshe do ta vendosnin vet\u00ebm si nd\u00ebshkim. Ka t\u00eb b\u00ebj\u00eb me gjith\u00e7ka q\u00eb \u00e7do prind ka brenda tyre. Mund t\u00eb jen\u00eb probleme financiare, ngacmime nga koleg\u00ebt apo afate t\u00eb ngutshme n\u00eb pun\u00eb, nj\u00eb marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnie e keqe me partnerin dhe lista vazhdon.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Nuk po them, kujtdo mund t’i ndodh\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb shp\u00ebrthej\u00eb tek personi i par\u00eb me t\u00eb cilin flasin ose shohin p\u00ebrball\u00eb. Megjithat\u00eb, n\u00ebse kjo ndodh vazhdimisht, at\u00ebher\u00eb kjo marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnie duhet t\u00eb nd\u00ebrpritet gjithsesi, n\u00ebse sigurisht q\u00eb jemi me fat q\u00eb jemi t\u00eb rritur dhe jo f\u00ebmij\u00eb.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00cbsht\u00eb edhe sjellje abuzive e njer\u00ebzve q\u00eb vazhdimisht sjellin veten si shembull n\u00eb \u00e7do bised\u00eb dhe t\u00eb b\u00ebjn\u00eb t\u00eb ndihesh keq, sepse gjoja nuk e ke kaluar at\u00eb q\u00eb kan\u00eb kaluar dhe b\u00ebjn\u00eb nj\u00eb monolog t\u00eb madh me veten, n\u00eb fakt duan t\u00eb thon\u00eb k\u00ebto. gj\u00ebra p\u00ebr t\u00eb ngush\u00eblluar veten p\u00ebr gabimet e tyre dhe p\u00ebr t’ju b\u00ebr\u00eb t\u00eb ndiheni keq dhe t’i justifikoni ata p\u00ebr \u00e7do her\u00eb q\u00eb ju kan\u00eb trajtuar keq ose jan\u00eb trajtuar keq n\u00eb p\u00ebrgjith\u00ebsi n\u00eb jet\u00ebn e tyre.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ka njer\u00ebz me aq shum\u00eb egoiz\u00ebm dhe keqdashje n\u00eb to, saq\u00eb d\u00ebgjojn\u00eb vet\u00ebm p\u00ebr t’ju p\u00ebrgjigjur dhe p\u00ebr t\u00ebrhqur v\u00ebmendjen. N\u00eb fund, natyrisht, gjith\u00e7ka varet nga ata dhe \u00e7far\u00eb do t\u00eb b\u00ebnin n\u00eb pozicionin tuaj si m\u00eb t\u00eb zgjuar dhe m\u00eb me p\u00ebrvoj\u00eb dhe shfryt\u00ebzojn\u00eb rastin t\u00eb flasin p\u00ebrs\u00ebri p\u00ebr veten e tyre. Por askush nuk mund t\u00eb z\u00ebr\u00eb vendin e tjetrit. Ai kurre nuk do te veshi k\u00ebpuc\u00ebt e t\u00eb tjer\u00ebve. Secili ka kaluar v\u00ebshtir\u00ebsit\u00eb dhe p\u00ebrvojat e veta dhe askush nuk ka t\u00eb drejt\u00eb t’i n\u00ebn\u00e7moj\u00eb apo t’i konsideroj\u00eb qesharake sepse ndoshta kan\u00eb kaluar di\u00e7ka m\u00eb t\u00eb keqe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Njer\u00ebzit egoist\u00eb dhe t\u00eb k\u00ebqij zakonisht lindin t\u00eb till\u00eb dhe disa p\u00ebrvoja jet\u00ebsore ndonj\u00ebher\u00eb stimulojn\u00eb keq\u00ebsin\u00eb q\u00eb kan\u00eb brenda. Ata thjesht nuk ua tregojn\u00eb t\u00eb gjith\u00ebve at\u00eb an\u00eb t\u00eb tyre, ve\u00e7an\u00ebrisht kur nuk u intereson.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
S\u00eb bashku me egoizmin dhe keqdashjen vjen edhe manipulimi. Ata k\u00ebrkojn\u00eb v\u00ebmendjen dhe ekskluzivitetin tuaj t\u00eb plot\u00eb. Sidomos kur ata kuptojn\u00eb se ju keni nj\u00eb dob\u00ebsi p\u00ebr ta dhe jeni t\u00eb pambrojtur, ata do t\u00eb p\u00ebrfitojn\u00eb nga kjo p\u00ebr t\u00eb v\u00ebn\u00eb nj\u00eb vul\u00eb n\u00eb pron\u00ebn e tyre, duke ju theksuar vazhdimisht se si jan\u00eb m\u00eb t\u00eb mir\u00ebt p\u00ebr ju dhe ju duan m\u00eb shum\u00eb se kushdo dhe t\u00eb tjera t\u00eb tilla shp\u00eblarje truri. q\u00eb gjithmon\u00eb p\u00ebrfundon rreth egos s\u00eb tyre.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ajo q\u00eb \u00e7do njeri mbart brenda tij \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb \u00e7\u00ebshtje q\u00eb ai vet\u00eb do t\u00eb duhet ta zgjidh\u00eb. Askush, me fjal\u00eb, nuk mund ta ndihmoj\u00eb at\u00eb. Ajo vet\u00ebm do t\u00eb harxhoj\u00eb energji t\u00eb humbur. Disa ndihen t\u00eb d\u00ebshtuar dhe t\u00eb stresuar n\u00eb financat e tyre, t\u00eb tjer\u00eb t\u00eb stresuar nga koha, t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt nga marr\u00ebdh\u00ebniet e d\u00ebshtuara, t\u00eb tjer\u00eb ndihen t\u00eb bllokuar dhe t\u00eb tjer\u00eb se i gjith\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb fati dhe fati i tyre i keq.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00cbsht\u00eb e pamundur q\u00eb t\u00eb gjitha k\u00ebto ndjenja t\u00eb forta dhe t\u00eb k\u00ebqija t\u00eb mos nxjerrin helm. Fjal\u00eb plot ila\u00e7e q\u00eb godasin t\u00eb af\u00ebrmit dhe miqt\u00eb. Ironit\u00eb, kritikat dhe dyshimet dhe t\u00eb gjitha k\u00ebto duhet t’i toleroni n\u00eb baz\u00eb t\u00eb mendimit t\u00eb tyre sepse ata “e kan\u00eb pasur t\u00eb v\u00ebshtir\u00eb”. Ata p\u00ebrpiqen t’ju \u00e7ojn\u00eb n\u00eb k\u00ebmb\u00eb, t’ju b\u00ebjn\u00eb ashtu si\u00e7 duan t\u00eb jeni, t’i b\u00ebjn\u00eb t\u00eb ndihen mir\u00eb dhe t\u00eb sigurt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ata flasin p\u00ebr miq\u00ebsit\u00eb dhe ndjenjat, nd\u00ebrsa n\u00eb mendjen e tyre vazhdimisht mendojn\u00eb se si do t\u00eb p\u00ebrfitojn\u00eb nga kjo marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnie dhe sesi \u00e7do person n\u00eb jet\u00ebn e tyre mund t\u00eb jet\u00eb i dobish\u00ebm p\u00ebr ta p\u00ebr t\u00eb arritur di\u00e7ka q\u00eb duan. Ndonj\u00ebher\u00eb ata japin por e b\u00ebjn\u00eb p\u00ebrs\u00ebri p\u00ebr t’u ndjer\u00eb mir\u00eb me veten e tyre. Q\u00eb t\u00eb mos i konsumoj\u00eb keqardhja, q\u00eb t\u00eb thon\u00eb nga brenda \u201cpo, jam njeri shum\u00eb i mir\u00eb\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
V\u00ebshtir\u00eb se mund ta ndryshoni nj\u00eb person t\u00eb till\u00eb, pik\u00ebrisht sepse ai nuk sheh asnj\u00eb problem n\u00eb fjal\u00ebt dhe veprimet e tij. N\u00eb fillim mund t\u00eb p\u00ebrpiqeni t\u00eb shp\u00ebrfillni disa sjellje, por n\u00eb fund ato grumbullohen dhe ju mbyteni me sasin\u00eb e tyre. Do t\u00eb ishte gabim t\u00eb hynit n\u00eb nj\u00eb debat. Kurr\u00eb nuk do ta gjesh t\u00eb drejt\u00ebn t\u00ebnde, nuk do t\u00eb d\u00ebgjosh kurr\u00eb falje, nuk je zot q\u00eb t’i ndryshosh t\u00eb gjith\u00eb. Edhe n\u00ebse e d\u00ebgjoni nj\u00eb her\u00eb, do t\u00eb kuptoni se pendimi u desh vet\u00ebm p\u00ebr t\u00eb arritur q\u00ebllimin.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
M\u00ebnyra se si njer\u00ebzit i trajtojn\u00eb njer\u00ebzit rreth tyre pasqyron gjith\u00e7ka q\u00eb ata kan\u00eb brenda dhe gjith\u00e7ka q\u00eb ndjejn\u00eb. Dhe kujt ia nxjerrin zakonisht t\u00eb gjitha t\u00eb mirat dhe t\u00eb k\u00ebqijat q\u00eb kemi n\u00eb to? P\u00ebr njer\u00ebzit m\u00eb t\u00eb af\u00ebrt. Nuk do t’ua tregoj atyre q\u00eb duan, sepse \u00ebsht\u00eb hipokrite t\u00eb thuash se e do […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4767,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"tdm_status":"","tdm_grid_status":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[590],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-4766","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-shoqeri"},"yoast_head":"\n