Pavar\u00ebsisht n\u00ebse \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb mik q\u00eb nuk na p\u00ebrgjigjet n\u00eb telefon, dikush q\u00eb u nda me ne, ose dikush q\u00eb u t\u00ebrhoq nga nj\u00eb projekt i r\u00ebnd\u00ebsish\u00ebm i ekipit, secili prej nesh ka p\u00ebrjetuar refuzim dhe e di mir\u00eb se dhemb.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Nj\u00eb seri eksperimentesh t\u00eb udh\u00ebhequra nga psikolog\u00ebt social\u00eb Jean Twenge nga Universiteti i San Diegos dhe Roy Baumeister nga universitetiti Floridas kan\u00eb gjetur se edhe nj\u00eb p\u00ebrvoj\u00eb e shkurt\u00ebr e refuzimit shoq\u00ebror mund ta shtyj\u00eb at\u00eb n\u00eb nj\u00eb rreth vicioz q\u00eb p\u00ebrfshin ndjenjat e d\u00ebshp\u00ebrimit, rritjen e agresionit, ngr\u00ebnien e tep\u00ebrt dhe irracionalitetin, sjellje t\u00eb rrezikshme.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Di\u00e7ka e ngjashme m\u00eb ndodhi mua disa jav\u00eb m\u00eb par\u00eb. Nd\u00ebrsa gruaja ime ishte larguar n\u00eb nj\u00eb udh\u00ebtim p\u00ebr dhjet\u00eb dit\u00eb, vajza ime kat\u00ebrvje\u00e7are Chloe dhe un\u00eb u afruam shum\u00eb. Sapo gruaja ime u kthye n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi, n\u00eb syt\u00eb e Chloe un\u00eb pothuajse u zhduka.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Fundjav\u00ebn e kaluar, ne po sh\u00ebtisnim n\u00ebp\u00ebr nj\u00eb qytet aty pran\u00eb dhe n\u00eb kat\u00ebr ose pes\u00eb raste i drejtova Kloes p\u00ebr ta ndihmuar t\u00eb kalonte rrug\u00ebn dhe ajo u largua, duke vrapuar te gruaja ime dhe duke k\u00ebrkuar dor\u00ebn e saj.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Pika q\u00eb tejmbushte got\u00ebn u shfaq disa net\u00eb m\u00eb von\u00eb, kur gruaja ime dhe un\u00eb ishim n\u00eb dhom\u00ebn e f\u00ebmij\u00ebve tan\u00eb dhe gruaja ime u shtri me vajz\u00ebn ton\u00eb p\u00ebr t’i treguar asaj nj\u00eb histori. Nd\u00ebrkoh\u00eb, un\u00eb u shtriva n\u00eb an\u00ebn tjet\u00ebr t\u00eb dhom\u00ebs me djalin ton\u00eb, Aleksandrin. Pas pes\u00eb minutash, si zakonisht, gruaja ime dhe un\u00eb nd\u00ebrruam shtret\u00ebrit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Un\u00eb nuk dua q\u00eb ju t\u00eb shtriheni me mua,” b\u00ebrtiti Chloe, fjal\u00eb q\u00eb m\u00eb p\u00ebrshkuan zemr\u00ebn. “Mir\u00eb, por at\u00ebher\u00eb mos m\u00eb k\u00ebrko t\u00eb shtrihem me ty kur mamaja jote \u00ebsht\u00eb larg,” u p\u00ebrgjigja me kaustik\u00eb. Pastaj dola nga dhoma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Ju e merrni at\u00eb shum\u00eb seriozisht,” tha gruaja ime gjysm\u00eb ore m\u00eb von\u00eb. “Ndonj\u00ebher\u00eb Chloe m\u00eb b\u00ebrtet ose madje m\u00eb godet, nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb pun\u00eb e madhe. “Gjithashtu, ju mbani dor\u00ebn e Aleksandrit m\u00eb shum\u00eb se dora e Chloe dhe ai e sheh at\u00eb.” “Kjo ndodh sepse Chloe largohet nga un\u00eb ndonj\u00ebher\u00eb kur arrij dor\u00ebn, di\u00e7ka q\u00eb Alex nuk e b\u00ebn kurr\u00eb,” u p\u00ebrgjigja. “A keni ndjer\u00eb ndonj\u00ebher\u00eb q\u00eb Chloe t\u00eb t\u00ebrheq dor\u00ebn nga ju dhe pastaj t\u00eb vrapoj\u00eb drejt meje p\u00ebr t\u00eb m\u00eb mbajtur dor\u00ebn?” E pyeta, duke e ditur p\u00ebrgjigjen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“E v\u00ebrteta \u00ebsht\u00eb jo,” u p\u00ebrgjigj ajo. “Thjesht nuk e kupton se si \u00ebsht\u00eb t\u00eb jesh baba,” ndava me t\u00eb. Pastaj shkova n\u00eb dhom\u00ebn ton\u00eb t\u00eb gjumit me nj\u00eb humor t\u00eb keq.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
M\u00eb von\u00eb, gruaja ime erdhi m\u00eb tha dhe m\u00eb sugjeroi q\u00eb her\u00ebn tjet\u00ebr t\u00eb flisja me Chloe p\u00ebr ndjenjat e saj dhe t’i b\u00ebja disa pyetje, t\u00eb tilla si “A je i zem\u00ebruar me mua?” p\u00ebr ta ndihmuar at\u00eb t\u00eb tregoj\u00eb at\u00eb q\u00eb po ndodh brenda saj.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
T\u00eb nes\u00ebrmen n\u00eb m\u00ebngjes, u zgjova n\u00eb or\u00ebn pes\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb shkuar n\u00eb palest\u00ebr – si p\u00ebr p\u00ebrfitimet e vet\u00eb -rregullimit t\u00eb ushtrimeve ashtu edhe p\u00ebr p\u00ebrfitimet fizike. Me pak fjal\u00eb, st\u00ebrvitja m\u00eb ndihmon t\u00eb rregulloj emocionet e v\u00ebshtira dhe t\u00eb q\u00ebndroj i sh\u00ebndetsh\u00ebm. Pa t\u00eb, un\u00eb nuk do t\u00eb isha n\u00eb gjendje t\u00eb shkruaja k\u00ebt\u00eb artikull t\u00eb qart\u00eb.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Nd\u00ebrsa isha n\u00eb makin\u00ebn eliptike, po luaja n\u00eb mendjen time gjith\u00e7ka q\u00eb kishte ndodhur. Kuptova se kisha l\u00ebn\u00eb hidh\u00ebrimin e refuzimit t\u00eb diktonte sjelljen time. Me fjal\u00eb t\u00eb tjera, un\u00eb i vendos kushtet p\u00ebr dashurin\u00eb time p\u00ebr Chloe – n\u00ebse nuk m\u00eb refuzoni kurr\u00eb, un\u00eb do t\u00eb vazhdoj t\u00eb g\u00ebnjej me ju dhe t’ju mb\u00ebshtes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
P\u00ebr m\u00eb tep\u00ebr, Chloe po rivendoste marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnien e saj me n\u00ebn\u00ebn e saj pas periudh\u00ebs m\u00eb t\u00eb gjat\u00eb t\u00eb ndarjes prej kat\u00ebr vjet e gjysm\u00eb t\u00eb jet\u00ebs s\u00eb saj. N\u00eb vend q\u00eb t\u00eb merret me gjinin\u00eb – shum\u00eb n\u00ebna gjithashtu p\u00ebrjetojn\u00eb refuzimin dhe preferenc\u00ebn e f\u00ebmij\u00ebve t\u00eb tyre her\u00eb pas right here p\u00ebr baban\u00eb e tyre – Chloe thjesht u ribashkua me kujdestarin e saj kryesor dhe marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnien m\u00eb t\u00eb r\u00ebnd\u00ebsishme n\u00eb jet\u00ebn e saj.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
T\u00eb nes\u00ebrmen n\u00eb m\u00ebngjes, kur u largova nga Chloe n\u00eb shkoll\u00eb, pasi b\u00ebri shaka me t\u00eb dhe Aleksandrin p\u00ebr nj\u00ebzet minuta n\u00eb makin\u00eb, ajo arriti dor\u00ebn tek koka ime dhe m\u00eb p\u00ebrqafoi, duke m\u00eb p\u00ebshp\u00ebritur n\u00eb vesh: “Po tallesh, baba”. Un\u00eb buz\u00ebqesha dhe pastaj i kujtova vetes se marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnia jon\u00eb do t\u00eb jet\u00eb e mbushur me pranim dhe refuzim n\u00eb vitet q\u00eb vijn\u00eb dhe un\u00eb duhet t\u00eb pajtohem me k\u00ebt\u00eb.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Duke mos dashur q\u00eb Chloe t\u00eb ndihej e stresuar at\u00eb nat\u00eb, mendova nj\u00eb zgjidhje. “Nd\u00ebrsa ata ishin duke fjetur, un\u00eb hyra n\u00eb dhom\u00ebn e saj dhe t\u00eb Alexit para gjumit dhe thjesht pyeta:” Kush do t\u00eb donte q\u00eb un\u00eb t\u00eb shtrihesha n\u00eb shtratin e tyre kur t\u00eb tregoja historin\u00eb? ” Para se Alex t\u00eb reagonte, Chloe b\u00ebrtiti: “Un\u00eb!” U shtriva dhe ajo m\u00eb p\u00ebrqafoi. Pastaj Aleksi erdhi me ne. K\u00ebto jan\u00eb momentet kryesore n\u00eb jet\u00ebn e nj\u00eb babai, nj\u00eb second q\u00eb duhet ta vler\u00ebsojm\u00eb dhe ta shijojm\u00eb p\u00ebr aq koh\u00eb sa t\u00eb zgjas\u00eb.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Marr nga: www. psychologytoday. com\/ intl\/ weblog\/the-art-living-free\/ 202106\/ overcoming-rejection<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Pavar\u00ebsisht n\u00ebse \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb mik q\u00eb nuk na p\u00ebrgjigjet n\u00eb telefon, dikush q\u00eb u nda me ne, ose dikush q\u00eb u t\u00ebrhoq nga nj\u00eb projekt i r\u00ebnd\u00ebsish\u00ebm i ekipit, secili prej nesh ka p\u00ebrjetuar refuzim dhe e di mir\u00eb se dhemb. Nj\u00eb seri eksperimentesh t\u00eb udh\u00ebhequra nga psikolog\u00ebt social\u00eb Jean Twenge nga Universiteti i San […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3563,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"tdm_status":"","tdm_grid_status":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[524,521],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-4157","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-histori-te-verteta","8":"category-psikologji"},"yoast_head":"\n